


An Unwanted Life

by ayoe_xiahkey



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Brotherhood, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung-centric, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-11-25 21:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18171629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayoe_xiahkey/pseuds/ayoe_xiahkey
Summary: On his 25th birthday, Kim Doyoung make a wish while blow his birthday candle. The following day, his wish becomes a dangerous weapon to him. Doyoung grants his wish, but he feels like a murderer. This is not the reality that he wants.





	1. Doyoung's Birthday

Doyoung was born as a winner. Since 1st grade to 12nd grade, he always becomes the class president, since he's smart, had a great leadership skill, and very ambitious. When he came to the company as a trainee in his 10th grade, he worked harder than anyone else.

Doyoung had obsession with perfection, so it doesn't matter for him to not coming home after a long-night training. He slept in the training room, studied there, and went to school from the company. He also had a a lot of extra-classes in his school and community works outside the company, yet he still got straight A's for his exam.

Being a trainee couldn't stop him from being a top class student and the head of student council. Although he's very stressed and tired, he never show it in front of the others.

February, 2016

“Wow, Kim Dongyoung, you're really no joke. It's still freaking dawn,” a trainee from Japan, Nakamoto Yuta, claps his hand when he saw Doyoung tied his shoes and get ready to go to his college on 5 a.m. They're sleeping together in the company, since Yuta got nowhere to go and Doyoung didn't come home like usual.

Doyoung smiles while saw Yuta in the eyes, “I have a few task to be done at the council. So I must go early today.”

“Please slow down your pace, young man. Don't push yourself too hard,everybody will understand,” Yuta smiles genuinely while patting his younger-friend, “You seems always in a rush and don't have time to relax. It's not good for your mind and your body,”

“I'm fine and seriously okay, Yuta-Hyung. Can't wait to see you again tonight!”

Yuta slapped his shoulder before continued,

“Ah! I nearly forget to tell you! There will be a meeting on 2 p.m, with all of the rookies and trainers. Lee Sooman seongsaenim want to meet with all of us and tell something important. Teacher Park told me yesterday,”

“What's the matter? Is there something terrible? ” Doyoung gulped. He couldn't hide his worried behind his eyes. Lee Sooman seongsaenim was always busy, and if he wants to have a meeting, it means something big is going to happen or already happened.

“Of course not, don't overly worried! He just want to talk about our debut and our team formation. And he will also announce the leader of our team.”

“What? I thought there's no leader in our team,” Doyoung recalled in confusion, “Because we will have different unit for each song, and there's no permanent group between the rookies,”

“I don't know if there's a change of the concept, since it has been already decide by the directors,”

“Who will be appointed as our leader? Have you heard the news?”

Doyoung's heart beat faster with the mention of the word 'leader'

“Lee Taeyong is selected to be our leader!” Yuta looks excited while continue, “Thanks God, I relieved that our company still trust him. Taeyong-ie has been so stressed lately from all of the online scandal.”

Doyoung looks upset for seconds, but he managed to look okay. He must look nice and cool in front of Yuta. He's faking his dissappointment with plastered big smile across his face

“Wow, really? It's great then! I must send congratulatory message to him!”

When the company selected Lee Taeyong to be their leader, Doyoung was the first man who felt dissappointed, but he still be the first man who congratulate him. Taeyong was his first friend inside the company, and the two of them were very close.

But still, Doyoung couldn't accept the fact that he must lead by Taeyong and obeyed his command. He hated being controlled, since he always be the one who take control. He couldn't believe he will be controlled by someone incapable and weak like Taeyong.

And since that day, Doyoung never look at him as the leader Taeyong.

Doyoung always looks him as a thief, and he hates him very much. He always faking his smile in front of Taeyong to hide his true feeling, and fortunately, the hyung is too positive thinking. Taeyong never imagines that Doyoung has so many hatred towards him.

Doyoung had thoughts running inside his head when he walk down the elevator. He's clenching his fist and teeth. He was very angry and upset at the same time.

_'How could the company select someone problematic to lead their new group?'_

_'I tried to do the best, but the company never see my effort'_

_**'Lee Taeyong does not deserve the position, he steal it from me'** _

February, 2020.

“Make a wish, make a wish!” A loud of cheers and claps from 20 NCT members heard across the waiting room. Today is Doyoung's birthday and Jaehyun bring his birthday cake. They're still in the middle of their concert in Hongkong

He feels so overwhelmed to celebrate it with the members, as the tears stream down his eyes from happiness inside his heart.

“You must thinking carefully for your wish, Hyung! They said that quarter-life birthday is so special!

“Your wish must be the things that you really want to happen!”

“Alright..alright...thank you very much, everyone! Let me think for a moment..”

Doyoung clapped his hand while closing his eyes, begins his pray for his birthday wish. The members begin to fall in silence.

_**'Dear God, thank you for everything, so I can celebrate my 25** _ _**th** _ _**birthday healthily and happily.** _

_**For the following years, I really want to be happy, healthy, and I hope there will be a bright future for my career as an individual singer and as a part of NCT.** _

_**I also hope that my parents, my brother, and my best friends could spend only wonderful days ahead** _

_**And lastly, I hope I will take back what I deserved.'** _

Doyoung blows his candle, and suddenly the lights also goes off with the scream of the rest. His wishes will be granted.

 


	2. In The Waiting Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again guys for reading this work! I really appreciate your kudos and views! Don't forget to leave comments so I could know your thougths after reading this! Please keep support our NCT boys! :D

February, 2020

“Hey, wake up Hyung! It's already the time to get your make up done!” Doyoung rubs his eyes and stretches his arm while he hears Mark's voice beside him. Damn, he's totally tired and he dozes off for a moment.

Last night, he took the kids to a barbeque restaurant for his birthday treat and he just got 3-hour sleep. After that. they filmed NCT Life in Hongkong the next morning. And now, in the evening, they must completed their last day of the concert.

Doyoung nods his head and go to the make-up chair reluctantly. Taeyong is already done his make up and hair, as he make a way for Doyoung and take a seat on sofa beside him.

“Aigoo~let's wash your face first, my birthday boy!” Taeyong teases him playfully while ruffling his dongsaeng's messy hair. He also tries to play with his earlobe after that.

“Aah~what're you doing Hyung? I'm so goddamn tired!”

Doyoung nags while slap Taeyong's hand from his face. He's seriously not in a mood to play.

“Hey, our stage is in 20 minutes. So you must completely wake up, Mr Kim Doyoung!” Taeyong replies, in English, that make it sounds more annoying. Top of that, he's still smiling to Doyoung. Taeyong loves to tease this boy, since he thinks that Doyoung looks very cute when he's angry,

_**'What a nuisance!'** _

“You know, I'm freaking 25 and I can take care of myself. Stop treating me like I'm a kid, Hyung!”

“Hahaa..but you're still a kid to me, Doyoung-ah! Look at the saliva in the corner of your lips,you looks like a fool” Taeyong laughs while points his finger to him.

The rest of the room laughs to Doyoung. They looks satisfied.

“Don't make fun of me, Lee Taeyong!” Doyoung is totally lost his patience, and he speaks informally.

He's getting up from the chair as facing the older, towering him, and look at him with a disastrous glare. He talks very fast, as he's very angry at this moment.

“Remember your clumsiness when you're almost swearing at our ending talk, I quickly cover it up for you so the fans don't notice it!”

“Remember our broadcast accident when you nearly mocked our sunbaenim? I quickly change the topic so it turns out fine!”

“Remember when you bad at explaining things and often confused? I took the job from you as I always explains our group concepts!”

Taeyong looks very shocked with this sudden attack. He's not replying and totally afraid right now, he never saw Doyoung becomes so angry at him like this. He's just look down to the floor, as he's not brave enough to looks at the flame in his dongsaeng's eyes.

“Wow..wow..wow..you're too much, Doyoung-ah. Taeyong is just joking about you being a fool! C'mon! take it easy, dude!” Johnny's trying to break out the sudden terrified atmosphere, “We will have our stage in 20 minutes and it's not the right time to get into an argument!”

“Yeah..You can't reply me because I state the fact, and you feel embarassed?”

Doyoung's ignoring Johnny, and he then cup his hand to Taeyong's face, to pull up his chin and meet with Taeyong's eyes that already filled with tears.

“You know, I am fucking hate you for all these years because you're so weak and so fragile like this,”

Doyoung is absolutely scary since he intimidate him with his glare. The rooms fall into dramatic silence once again, even the staffs are too afraid to disturb.

“Don't ever messed up with me again, Lee Taeyong. I already warn you.”

“Okay okay guys, calm down, calm down! Let's end it here okay! We should get ready for our stage! Let's rock it man! Let's get it! Let's get it!”

Mark claps his hand and push Doyoung away from Taeyong and make him to seat in the corner chair. Although he's still not satisfied, Doyoung decides to stop. However, today is their last day concert and Mark is absolutely right. This is not the time to fight.

Taeyong is trembling very hard when Jaehyun pull him to his embrace as they're sitting down. He's on panic attack, and Jaehyun knows it.

“I'm afraid Jaehyun-ah. I'm afraid. Is he really hates me? What should I do now? What should I do?”

“It's okay, Hyung, It's okay.. Doyoung-hyung is not really meant it, you know, he always talks like that,”

“Doyoung looks like a monster. I'm really scared of him. I'm afraid if he does not forgive me. Please help me, Jaehyun-ah. I beg you,.” Taeyong talks again slowly as he's shivering under Jaehyun's arm.

“Shh...everything will be fine. I will talk to him about this. Don't worry too much,okay?” Jaehyun rubs Taeyong's back with his left hand, and grabs his hand with his right hand. Taeyong grabs it and squeeze his hand, trying to look for a protection. His heart is shattered with Doyoung's anger. He never imagines that Doyoung will talk to him like that.

“Really? Thank you, Jaehyun-ah. Thank you, Thank you very much,”

Jaehyun smiles to his leader's shaking eyes, while nodding his head, “Yeah, you must remember what I say, Hyung. Doyoung-hyung will forget about this soon, and he will be nice again. He's not a man who hold his anger in a long time. Don't ever think about it again, alright?”

After a while, Mark is coming with a glass of water and a tube of anti-anxiety pills. They always bring it in case of emergency.

“Take a deep breath and control yourself, Hyung. We must go on the stage soon. This is our last day, remember? We should make it big and cool and we could go back to Seoul after this ends!”

Taeyong just nods his head slowly, taking a pill, and still looking down.

  
  


 


	3. Fly Away With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your appreciate and kudos to this work! It really motivates me to keep writing this story! Happy reading and keep support our NCT boys! ^^

Doyoung is still angry when 127 is getting ready to perform their special stage of “Fly away with me”. Mark and Johnny give jokes and laughs endlessly about Lucas' failed aegyo that they saw in the monitor, but Doyoung is not bothered. He keeps his mouth shut and continue to play with his phone. He just want to quickly finish the concert and back to the hotel to take a rest. He wants to sleep and forget this entire tiring day.

He just rolls his eyes as he watch Jaehyun's coming closer to him. He knows that Jaehyun will talk about the problem and he really doesn't want to talk about it.

“Taeyong-hyung really want to say sorry to you if his joke is crossing the line and making you angry. He really doesn't want to embarrass you in public,”

Doyoung's still not looking at Jaehyun and he's ignoring him. He keeps a straight face while fixing his eyes to the game that he played on his phone.

Jaehyun huffs, “I know that you're angry, but you don't need to yell at him. He's very terrified. You know exactly that he's not in a stable state right now. Mark even gave him the pills to calm him down”

“We've known each other for 7 years, Hyung. You and Taeyong-hyung are my best brothers among the others. I don't want a stupid joke make us fall apart.”

Doyoung's still not responding. But Jaehyun doesn't give up, “When you said that you're fucking hate him, you're not really meant it, right? You're just driven by your anger, right?”

Doyoung doesn't move his eyes from the screen when he finally answers,

“Stop it, Jae. I'm fucking tired. Let's get to the stage and go home.”

“So, you're accept his apologize and forgive him? Yeah! I know that you could not hate Taeyong-hyung. I know you better than anyone else!” Jaehyun finally smiles brightly.

Doyoung doesn't answer the question as he keeps his hands busy playing the shooting game, as he tap the triggers and shot his enemy on the forehead.

_'You are completely wrong, Jae. I know me better than anyone else,'_

“NCT 127, 127 unit! 127 unit! Calling to all members! Attention, standby to your position! Fly away with me stage will be up in two minutes,” Doyoung puts down his phone to his pocket as he hears the director's command towards them.

He then quickly walking to the far-right, to his position with Johnny, while Jaehyun joins Taeyong on the center stage. On this performance, they will each go to the corner of the arena and enter the stage with lift-up stage that will keep continue rising up. On the chorus, the stage finally up into 10-metres high with lighting effect of stars, as if they're flying on the night sky while singing the song.

“ _Fly away with me baby, A familiar voice just passed through my ears_

_When I close my eyes. It’s suddenly calling out to me again_

_Feels like I can reach you In your eyes that looked at me, the Milky Way flowed_

_I was looking inside, we were following time, walking together_

_When our footprints connect to our hands, We’ll become a constellation”_

The special version of the song is including Taeyong and Mark's rapping before the chorus

“ _We will fly away together, in a forever times,_

_we will become a new galaxy, that shines brighter than ever,_

_We will make the brightest constellation envy, because we're too beautiful_

_We will keep flying and shining, gives the most radiant energy to all of the universe”_

“ _Cause tonight I’m looking for you, I’m getting closer Into your heart_

_If I go in deep, if I flow inside deep, It’s all right”_

And when they begins to sing the chorus, suddenly a loud squeaking sound is heard from the center stage. The lift-up stage is collapsing in seconds, with a very loud scream from the audience.

Doyoung's heart nearly stops when he see the accident flash in front of his eyes. He's watching a complete horror reality that he never imagine will ever happen in their concert.

“ _Looking at our same dreams, That have started to connect”_

Taeyong is slipping down the stage as it breaks, his left hand tries to reach the remaining platform, while his right hand holds into Jaehyun's pants. Jaehyun quickly take Taeyong's right hand and holds him with all of his energy, trying to save him from falling. Unfortunately, the second break happens, as the remaining platform also crumble.

Jaehyun's eyes widen in panic as he realizes that he fail to prevents the accident.

“ _From now on We want to be one, I hope we will be one”_

Doyoung screams as the two of them falls.

 


	4. The Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Thank you very much for your kudos and support to this work! And I'm sorry if I have slow updates! Please let me know your thoughts by commenting! Have a good day and keeps support our NCT Boys!

“Andwae! Jung Jaehyun!”

Doyoung screams out his heart with his mic, echoing through the arena. Taeyong and Jaehyun hit the bottom of the stage with very loud sound. Jaehyun falls at the top of Taeyong, with his leader's arm grabs his back tight, trying to protect his body from all of the platform that fall with them.

The music is stopped, the audiences start to scream and cry as they saw two lifeless body on the stage. The other lift-up stage is going back down slowly. Each member looks very shocked and terrified as they watch their brothers are dying in front of their eyes.

Taeyong is conscious but Jaehyun is not. A stream of blood is coming from Taeyong's back head. And the tears are coming down from his face as he could feel the terrible pain spread from all over his body. Taeyong is trying to make a sound and he's crying for help. But as he opens his mouth, he could only coughs a lot of bloods. He's panting very hard and he couldn't breath properly. His pain is heard across the arena from his microphone, as the staffs are also too shocked and forget to turn off the microphone.

When the members reach the bottom of the stage, the paramedics already come and bring them to the stretchers, give oxygen-mask to help them breathe, before quickly draw them from the stage. John and Mark are immediately running hard to follow the paramedics to the back stage, followed by the others, except Kim Doyoung, He's walking to the center, to the pool of bloods and enormous wreckage.

When he arrives, he immediately kneels and touch the liquid at the floor and feels Taeyong's blood is running on his fingers. Doyoung just wants to make sure that is just in his dream, but he hate that the blood is so real, it even smells like iron. His brain is working so hard, as he could hear voices on his head.

_**'This is what you want, Doyoung-ah. Congratulation,'** _

**'No, I don't want this! I don't want to lose them! I'm still not accepting Taeyong-hyung's apologize! I'm still don't say sorry to Jaehyun! I have hurt their hearts!'**

_**'But you're really hate them, Doyoung-ah, Especially Lee Taeyong, he's a thief for your crown, right?'** _

**'But this is not that I want! This is so wrong! This is absolutely terrible'**

_**'You will become the number one of NCT after this. You will be their leader. This is what you deserve from the beginning, right? Your wish has become a reality.'** _

“Doyoung-ah! What are you doing here? Let's go to the backstage!”

Taeil pulls him out of the floor and drags him to the backstage.

***

The back stage is more terrible than the arena, as the other members welcome him and Taeil with terrible faces, including the Dreamies and WayV kids, that already gathered in one big room.

Yuta is hugging Lucas, Renjun, Donghyuk, and Yangyang, trying to calming them from crying. Jaemin is talking seriously to Winwin, Xiaojun, Chenle, and Jisung. Although they're not crying, their faces looks so terrified. Kun is speaking a very-fast chinese to his phone, while walking across the room. Ten is just sit on a chair while looking down to the floor, and Hendery is sobbing in Jungwoo's arm.

Jeno runs toward Doyoung and pulls him to his arm. He is crying hard and buried his face into Doyoung's neck. Although Doyoung wants to cry hard right now, he couldn't break in front of the kids, specifically Jeno. Jeno always look up at Doyoung like a real older brother, so he must be strong in front of him, no matter how hard it is. Doyoung just rubs Jeno's back while comforting him. After a while, Jeno manages to stop sobbing and pull him out from Doyoung's arm.

“Where is Mark and John?” Doyoung asks to the others, and Jaemin answers him. Jaemin looks absolutely calm compared to the other kids.

“They accompanies Manager-hyung to the hospital, as Kun-Hyung decides to stay here,”

“Who's he talking with? He doesn't seem okay,” Taeil asks this time.

“He's looking for the nearest hospital that could provide secret VVIP service.. so the reporters couldn't swarm in and report this accident,” Ten answers while looks up to Taeil.

When he meets the oldest weary eyes, Ten is immediately tearing up, as he walks and hugs him tight.

“It's very hard for me to keep being strong, Hyung. It must be so hard for you also. I couldn't even imagine what will happen with them, but still couldn't find the hospital.”

“Seriously?! Are you even thinking about the reporters in this situation?!” Yuta is shouting and coming to Ten as he looks so upset, “Our brothers could die in no matter of times if they're not treated immediately!”

“You're not seeing how bad the accident, Ten-Hyung. You're not seeing Jaehyun-hyung didn't response with his eyes closed. You're not seeing Taeyong-hyung was grasping for a breath as his shirt is already covered by his own bloods!” Donghyuk is in rage between his tears as he screams his anger, he walks quickly and get ready to punch Ten's face.

_**'It's time to control, Doyoung-ah'** _

“Na Yuta, Lee Donghyuk, stop it! Ten is absolutely right! We're already know that they're dying, but we still can't let their condition is revealed to public. It will make chaos to the fans all over the city. They will be panic and it can turn into disaster,”

Doyoung is giving his speech. He already spread his arm in front of Ten, shielding him from Donghyuk and Yuta. He looks at them with his deathly sharp gaze.

“I agree with Doyoung,” Taeil is talking slowly, “They're already in the ambulance and received emergency procedure. We shouldn't fight right now. Let's pray the best for them,and Kun will find a hospital immediately,”

They fall into silence for minutes, as Taeil lead the prayers and Kun is still talking to his phone. Some of the kids are still sobbing.

“Thank God, they're already transferred into Dangliang Hospital. And it is one of the best in town,” Kun breaks the silence as he put his phone down, “They're still on the ER. Let's hope that they will survive this,”

Doyoung sighs in relief.

 


	5. A Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your appreciate to this work! It really means so much to me! and forgive me for the slow updates, since work is so hectic these days! Sorry for the short update of this chapter, because I will update again soon! Happy reading and keep support our NCT Boys! ^^

The stage director enter the room with a very tired and sad face.

“Everyone, we already clean up the mess and we decide to end the concert,” He bows down in front of the room, “We are deeply apologize to you all. We will investigate the cause and if there's proof that there's human error that caused the accident, I will be responsible and go to the police by myself,”

“Thank you for your concern, Joohyuk-hyung,” Doyoung answers as the other couldn't speak up, “Seriously, I can't believe something like this will ever happen to us, I never feel so terrified like this in my life. But it's already happened, so all we could do right now is just pray for them. I hope they will be fine,”

“Yes, you shouldn't blame yourself too much, Hyung. It's an accident that nobody will ever predict,” Winwin is talking to the director while gives him a sad smile, “Let's do a proper and careful investigation. It's more important for knowing the root cause rather than knowing who should go to the police,”

“Thank you kids, thank you very much, we will do the best for the investigation,” the director bow repeatedly.

“But, what will happen with the fans, Hyung? Are they still on the venue?” Chenle raises his hand in question.

“Yes, we already give announcement that they couldn't leave the arena before we clean up the mess. Fortunately, they keep calm, though some of them is still crying hard and continually praying,”

“I think we must talk to them. If we do it by ourselves, they will be calm and not worried anymore, so the situation will be easy to control.” Xiaojun gives an opinion while raising his hand, “Taeil-hyung and Kun-hyung will deliver the speech in Korean and Chinese,”

“I can't do that, Dejun-ah. I even couldn't imagine how to stand in that bloody stage again,” Taeil refused while shaking his head, “Let's choose someone else,”

_**'That's good. It's your biggest opportunity to take the lead, Doyoung-ah.'** _

“I think it should be one representative from each sub-unit. Kun will represent WayV, Jaemin will represent Dream, and I will represent 127. Anyone oppose?” Doyoung talks with his usual steady-intimidating voice, as he nods to Kun and Jaemin.

Jaemin and Kun nods back, as the other member n't give their disagreement.

***

After the three of them-leads by Doyoung-gives the explanation on the stage, the audiences leave the area with more relieved feelings. Doyoung ensures that Taeyong and Jaehyun is already in a steady condition as they've been treated well in the ER. Doyoung is very professional and incredibly strong. He talks so well and very calm, as he even manages to smile to the fans.

When the three of them is coming back the waiting room, the rest of the members look at them with amazement. They're even clapping.

“Wow, that's seriously great, Doyoung-hyung. Absolutely perfect, You manage to endure it well, you're so cool,” Yangyang bows to him as he hugs Doyoung while smiling.

“I really can't talk a single word when I stand on the stage, so I hide my tears while looking down,” Jaemin utters his words while looking at Taeil, “You're right, Taeil-hyung. That bloody stage is really terrifying, although I didn't see the accident by myself, it still gives me goosebumps,”

“Yeah, that's right, Jaemin-ah. I also feel the same chill,” Kun replies, “I couldn't imagine what's your real feeling when you talk to the fans after see it by yourself. It must be so hard for you, Kim Doyoung. I really appreciate your courage,”

Doyoung manages to smile, “We should be strong in this situation, Kun. Taeyong-hyung and Jaehyun is fighting for their life right now. If we're not strong, we couldn't support them,”

“I am seriously proud of you, Kim Doyoung. You're so brave. I even don't want to look at the venue again,” Yuta pats his shoulder.

“I don't know that you could be so professional, Doyoung-hyung. Wow, you could even smile in front of the audiences. Real daebak,” Jisung is looking at him while gives him two thumbs up.

“I think we really could count on Doyoung-hyung start from now, everyone!,” Jeno exclaims as he hugs Doyoung. He seriously prouds of his big brother.

Everyone has been thanked to him, except just one person who's ignoring him. That person is still looking down and still crying hard. Doyoung is walking towards him,

“The kids are watching you, Lucas. Wipe your tears and stop it”

“You're so heartless,” Lucas answers in banmal. He still looks very devastated and looks at Doyoung with a flame in his eyes.

“Taeyong-hyung and Jaehyun-hyung are dying in front of you! And you still could act like nothing happens! Are you even a human, Kim Doyoung?”

Doyoung's ears become red hearing the opinion. He explodes,

“You think I'm not as sad as you? You think you know what's on my mind when I saw two of my closest friends are dying in front of me? You know nothing about my feeling!”

Doyoung screams out of anger, as he attacks Lucas and punch him on his cheek repeatedly, he really wants to destroy Lucas. Ten and Taeil quickly pull him out from Lucas, as Kun and Jungwoo hold into Lucas. The situation becomes a chaos, as Doyoung is shoving them hard and trying to drags Lucas from the floor.

“Guys please stop!! Stop! Mark Hyung is calling!” Jisung's sudden shouts made them all stop. Jaemin is quickly taking the phone from Jisung and takes the call.

“Yes, Hyung. Jaemin's here. Any updates about the hyungs?” Jaemin's eyes become widen as he takes the call, he couldn't even reply Mark. He's just putting down his phone and turn off the call immediately.

Jaemin couldn't manage to hear Mark's heavy sobbing in the other line.

 


	6. No Longer

“Yah..Jaemin-ah. What's wrong?” Renjun asks, as he could feel something is not right with the phone call.

Jaemin is not answering, he's just sitting down with blank expression. He doesn't know how he should deliver the news, since he's also not believing it.

“Hey, what's happening, Na Jaemin! ANSWER ME! RIGHT NOW!” Lucas is shouting at him with his still-red eyes and bloody nose. The other members are fixing their gazes on Jaemin,who looks absolutely puzzled with the sudden attention.

“I'm sorry, everyone.. I'm sorry..Mark Hyung said... that he does not make it.”

Jaemin answer shortly, while trying hard not to cry. He looks drained.

“Who?” Doyoung hears Taeil asks with a tremble voice. His mind is completely messed up as he hears the voices inside his head again.

_**'Calm down, Doyoung-ah. It's only him, it's not them. It should only be Lee Taeyong. It must be him,'** _

**'No, it should be a mistake. Taeyong-hyung must be survive, no one of them will die tonight. I can't lose Taeyong-hyung right now. He doesn't deserve this,'**

“Jung Jaehyun, our brother,” Jaemin says slowly. He pauses for a while before continues,”He passed away 5 minutes ago.”

Doyoung's head starts to hurt very much when the voice is getting louder.

_**'No! No, it's not true! Only Taeyong who should deserve this. He's the cause of the problem!”** _

**'Stop it, Doyoung-ah. It's true that you're killing Jaehyun with your wish. Come back to your sense. This is the reality! Your greed kills the wrong person. You can't run away from your guilt anymore. '**

“No..no..it couldn't be him. You must be joking. Jaehyun couldn't be dead. He **should not** be dead,” Doyoung's walking nervously towards Jaemin, he lost control of himself.

“My Jaehyunnie will never leaves me alone! Mark is speaking nonsense! Don't you even dare to lie in front of me, Na Jaemin!” Doyoung's eyes is completely red as he madly points out his finger to Jaemin's eyes.

“I know it's hard for you to accept it, Doyoung Hyung. But it's really Jaehyun Hyung,” Jungwoo starts to crying badly as he reads the message from their manager on their group-chat,

“I'm terribly sorry Kids, but Jaehyun does not make it. His external injury is not bad, but his heart is stopped already when we reach the hospital....” Jungwoo couldn't continue to read the message.

Yuta continues with a very slow voice, he's trying to hard not to cry in front of the kids

“The doctor said maybe he got a terrible heart attack due to shock when he's falling. They're trying so hard to bring him back, but they failed. Please come to the hospital and see him for the last time before we bring him back to Seoul.”

Doyoung couldn't hear the kids heavy sobbing, as the voices inside his head also stops abruptly. The world is crumbling.

His head is hurt very much as his vision becomes blurry, and when he closes his eyes, his vision is become completely dark.

***

Doyoung opens his eyes to see the white ceiling is welcoming him. He can feel heavy mattress on his back, and he realizes that he's on a hospital right now.

“Thank God, you finally wake up, Hyung!” Jeno talks slowly, as he grabs Doyoung's hand with his own. He's smiling when Doyoung's eyes met with his. Doyoung nods his head, he feels so weak when he's trying to get up, but he manage to sit with help from the younger.

“What time is it?”

“It's half past midnight, Hyung. You're fainted four hours ago and we bring you here. The doctor said that you're okay and just shocked.”

“Where's the others?”

“They're back to the hotel but I decide to accompany you tonight. I don't want to be alone in our room,” Jeno answers and gives a short hug to the older, “We must be strong at the times like this. You said that before, right?”

Doyoung is still confused with the current situation, he tries so hard to remember what's happening, and suddenly the reality hits his memory like a truck. He remembers Yuta's voice that read the message very clearly.

“Where's Jaehyunnie?”

Jeno takes a deep breath before answer, “Are you sure that you're ready, Hyung?” Doyoung nods, and he get up from the bed. Jeno walks with him outside his room, lead their way to Jaehyun's place.

They're walking in silence, as they passes through the quiet hospital corridor. When they arrives at the morgue, many staffs are still there, they looks so sad and shocked. Some of stylish and coordi noona cries quietly and hugs each other outside the room.

When Jeno opens the door, Joohyuk immediately bows for a while to Jeno and Doyoung He looks the most devastated among the other staffs, he also cries when he gives his hug to them. He pats Doyoung's back while whispering to him, before he exits from the room.

“I am terribly sorry, Doyoung-ah. Jaehyun is a very good kid, he really doesn't deserve this”

Doyoung wants to say okay to him, but he couldn't open his mouth to say anything. He follows Jeno to the center, when Jaehyun is lied inside a coffin.

Jaehyun looks very handsome as they're already dressed him with dark-navy suit, and neatly styled up his ash-grey-hair, showing his forehead. His fingers are turned black and his mouth is turned grey, as his face is very pale. He looks like just sleep peacefully, but Doyoung knows that he will never wakes up again.

Doyoung runs his fingers through Jaehyun's hair, down to his eyebrow, down to his cheek and his neck. He caress Jaehyun's closed eyes and kiss his forehead for a whole minute. He feels like he's kissing ice and it hurts him very much.

“Hey, Jaehyunnie. It's me. Is it hurt? What's your feeling right now?” Doyoung starts to speaks as he release the kiss, “I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry to not come here earlier, I'm sorry I can't accompany you on your last time, and I'm sorry I've ignored you this evening. Please forgive me, Jaehyunnie,”

Doyoung wants an answer, he wants to hear Jaehyun's endless talks again. Jaehyun talked to him about everything before. He regrets that he often didn't pay attention to the kid when he still can talk to him.

“Please answer me, Jaehyun, Please accept my apologize, Please come back to us,” he could hear Jeno hardly sobs beside him and he starts to cries badly on his own.

When Doyoung observes Jaehyun's body from head to tow, he feels very wrong. Death is coming without a warning. Almost 24-hours ago, Jaehyun still smiles to him, bring him his birthday cake, congratulate him for his birthday. But this time he's already become a corpse.

**'Jung Jaehyun is death because of your wish, Doyoung-ah. You kill your bestfriend out of your greed. You are a heartless murderer, and you will deserve punishment for the rest of your life'**

“No, it's not true, it's not true! I don't kill him! I don't kill him! Shut Up! I'm not a murderer”

Doyoung starts to panic and screams very loud. He's trembling hardly as he's very afraid. He hears the voices again.

“What's happen, Hyung?”

_**'You should be strong, Doyoung-ah. You must control yourself. This is not your fault. It's all because of Lee Taeyong. That pathetic man dragged Jaehyun down. He didn't want to die alone.'** _

“Yes, I must control myself. I must be calm,” Doyoung's ignoring Jeno's terrified face, as he manages to take a deep breath before smirks to himself.

“Doyoung-Hyung? Are you okay?” Jeno shakes his shoulder to make Doyoung come to his senses again.

“Ah, I'm okay, Jeno-yah. I'm alright,” Doyoung answers calmly while nods his head.

“You must take a rest, Hyung. It's not good to stay here,” Jeno talks slowly,”You must say goodbye to him. I have already said my goodbye,”

Doyoung nods before he take a few steps behind and give his last bow

“Jung Jaehyun, my little brother, I can't believe you will leave us first,” Doyoung pauses, his heart is really hurt, “Thank you for being born, thank you for being our brother, and thank you for all of your hard work,”

“We love you very much, but sadly God loves you more. Please keep watching us from heaven, my brother.” Doyoung talks while moving his thumb to brush Jaehyun's cold cheek. He adds in English, “Rest in peace, Jeffrey Jung.”

_**'You're a strong man, Doyoung-ah. You surely can handle this thing. It's not your fault at all. It's all Lee Taeyong's fault. He's the one who must take the punishment.'** _

Doyoung put Jeno on his arm, while put a fake smile on his face.

“Oh where's Taeyong-hyung? I want to meet him”

 


	7. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys! I'm absolutely sorry for the very late update TT.TT ! Thanks for all your support to this story, and please enjoy this chapter! Comments and kudos are appreciated so I could know your opinion, Have a good day!

Taeyong has been transferred to the ICU after his surgery completed. The doctors were trying to fix his badly brain damage and also fixed his broken ribs and legs. Although he's still on a critical stage, his condition become more steady. He at least survives the fall.

Johnny greets Jeno and Doyoung when they arrived in front of the room. John's face is terrible, his hair is very messy as his eyes are completely red. He immediately gives Jeno a light hug and Jeno pats his back. When he looks at Doyoung's eyes, he couldn't resist his tears and put him into a tight hug. He asks Doyoung between his sob.

“Doyoung-ah, are you okay? They said that you fainted before,”

Doyoung nods slowly while gives him a comforting smile, “Yeah, I'm alright, Hyung. I'm just very shocked but now I'm fine. I've already seen Jaehyun and said my last goodbye to him. He looks peaceful and so handsome in that suit.”

“I don't ever imagine we will face such a big disaster like this. Not in the middle of our concert,” John continues as he manages to calm himself, “You know, It feels so wrong to see Taeyong and Jaehyun fell from the platforn. Taeyong didn't deserve this kind of pain, and Jaehyun...He should not be death, he's still so young, he's very kind, he's very healthy.”

**'John-hyung is right, Jaehyun doesn't deserve this kind of death. But you kill the innocent kid, Doyoung-ah. You've commited a terrible sin. Just repent yourself and ask for forgiveness, or you will be haunted for the rest of your life.'**

_**'You didn't kill the poor kid, Doyoung-ah. He's death because of Lee Taeyong. He's the one who must take the punishment.'** _

Doyoung's head feels so dizzy right now, he decides to close his eyes again.

“How's Taeyong-hyung? Is he alright? Are we allowed to visit him?”

John nods his head, “Yeah, but just two person in one time, Jeno-yah. The surgery is done and his condition is far better than before. He's still unconcious, but he's stable and the doctor said that he will wake up in the morning.”

“Let's go inside” Doyoung drags Jeno while shaking his hurt-head.

Taeyong is lied on the hospital bed with his eyes closed, he has breathing tube around his nose, and he's bandaged around his head and his body. The doctors cut his hair short to help the surgery, and his face is very pale. He looks terribly weak and small below the thick hospital blanket.

**'Look at him closely, Doyoung-ah. Taeyong-hyung is your best brother. He teaches you everything. He gives you everything. He loves you more than anyone else. But look at yourself. Your greed nearly kills him. Go to him and apologize right now, Doyoung-ah.'**

Doyoung walk closely to Taeyong's bed, his heart breaks into pieces when he sees Taeyong's weak and terrible condition. He starts to crying badly as he feels so terrible and guilty. Yes, he must apologize to Taeyong.

“I'm sorry, Taeyong-hyung. I'm really sorry. I don't want to see you like this. This is not what I want, this is not what I meant. Please wake up and answer me, Hyung!”

_**'What are you doing, Doyoung-ah? He's the man who killed Jaehyun! You must not say sorry to him! Remember, you couldn't be a weak person. You must be strong in order to survive!'** _

The voice is getting louder as Doyoung's head become very hurt, he nearly wants to scream between his tears. He's finally lose and screaming.

_'Tell me what I should do right now! I want to survive from this terrible situation!'_

_**'First, you must be calm and keep your composure. and don't be emotional. He's still weak, and it's not the time for him to take the punishment.'** _

“It's okay, Doyoung-hyung. Taeyong-hyung is fine right now, he will wake up soon,” Jeno's right hand pats Doyoung's shoulder, as his left hand caresses Taeyong's hand.

“I feel so terrible right now, Jeno-yah. I've shouted to Taeyong-hyung before and I'm not yet apologize to him for my rude words”

_**'That's great. Such a nice play, Doyoung-ah,'** _

“I know that you're feeling so terrible, but you must be strong, Hyung. Taeyong-hyung will never hate you, he loves you very much. Please don't blame yourself too much,” Jeno turns his head to face Doyoung's eyes. He smiles genuinely to the older,

“Yeah, thank you so much, Jeno-yah. We must be strong in order to survive,” Doyoung talks slowly, “I will try to not crying from now on. I must be strong to protect you and our team. We will have many obstacles in the future.”

“You're right, the videos about the incident is already spreading like crazy, and the hate comments are flooding,”

“How about the news? Is it already up?”

“The company has made an official statement about Jaehyun-hyung. They say that Jaehyun-hyung is passed away after his condition is stable, due to unfortunate terrible heart-attack. It's the best way to explain, since we already made a statement that the two of them is in a good condition after they fall.”

Doyoung thinks for seconds, “What about his funeral? Is it been decided by his family? Like ...How and when they will hold the funeral.”

Doyoung really wants to throw up when he mention the word 'funeral'. He will never ready for a funeral, especially a funeral for Jung Jaehyun.

“Yeah, his parents have decide to hold the private funeral on Friday,” Jeno turn his head to Taeyong before continues, “It's so terrible that Taeyong-hyung couldn't say goodbye to Jaehyun-hyung for the last time. I don't know how to tell him about this. I can't imagine what will happen to him without Jaehyun-hyung.“

They room fell into silence for nearly a minute, as neither of them couldn't think a solution.

“Who's this?”

Jeno pulls out his hand quickly after he feels Taeyong's hand is squeezing his hand. He nearly jumps when he hears the familiar voice, although the voice feels very weak and slow.

_**'It's great that he already wake up, Doyoung-ah. You must take care of him first and be nice to him in the beginning. He will not expect you to hate him. If the time is right, you must give him the punishment that he deserves.'** _

“Taeyong Hyung! Are you okay? What is your feeling?” Doyoung talks excitedly though his head is still hurt. He must look cheerful.

Jeno moves closer to Taeyong's face and caress his face, “I'm getting goosebump. You're great, Hyung. They say you will wake up in the morning, but you're already up!”

He nods weakly while close his eyes and open it again.

“Turn on the lamp, Jeno-yah, I can't see you. Doyoung-ah, where are you?”

Jeno's eyes getting widen as he looks at Doyoung's shocked face. They couldn't believe what they heard, since the lights has been turned on and the room is very bright.

 


	8. Hurts

Taeyong moves his head to the left and right, while blinking several times. His gaze is wandering a sign of people around him, but he couldn't find anything. The room is still very dark,

“The lamp, turn it on..It's so dark here. I'm scared,”

“I will call the Doctor, and you must wait here,” Doyoung orders Jeno while patting his cheek before quickly running to the door, “Try to calm him first and if you can't explain it, don't force yourself, just wait for the doctor,”

Doyoung tries to find John in front of the room, but he's nowhere to be seen. He calls him, but John is not answeing, he then called their manager, but he's also not answering.

“Damn it, where are you Hyung?”

Knowing there's no option available, Doyoung rushes to the nurse center, when he hears his phone is ringing.

“Doyoung-ah? Do you wake up already? Are you alright? Where are you?”

“Ten! Thanks God, you're calling me! I'm completely okay and now I'm on Taeyong's hyung room. I need you to talk to the nurse!”

“What happened? Johnny hyung said that the surgery is already done and he survived the fall,”

Doyoung explains, “Surgery okay, he's wake up, but there's something wrong. He couldn't see anything right now. What should I do?”

Ten doesn't reply for a while.

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Aaah~yes, but it maybe just a side effect of the surgery, don't worry,” Ten answers slowly, “Put me on the phone with the nurse, I will explain his condition,” Ten explains in English and Chinese, and the nurses immediately rush inside to call the doctor.

When the three of them rush to Taeyong's room, John is already present with Jeno. John is trying to explains the current situation to Taeyong, and he's freezing in his bed, with eyes wide open as his tears are flowing endlessly.

“Lee Taeyong, do you hear me?” the Doctor asks, in English.

No answer.

“Please wait, I will check,”

After a quick examination, he sighs as he talks to John, “I'm sorry, Mr Seo. I predict there's heavy damage in his visual nerve due to the hit, since his eyes are quite normal,”

“We still can fix it and he will be okay after a few following surgeries. Am I right?” John asks calmly

The doctor shakes his head and smiles bitterly, “Unfortunately we couldn't do anything. The other surgeries are far away too dangerous. We might lost him as well,”. He then explains about the possibility of transfer to hospital in Korea for recovery, and what they must prepares during recovery to John.

Doyoung is not completely understand what they said, but judges from John's shocked expression, it's a terrible situation. He's too afraid to asks what's exactly happens.

There's only silence after the Doctor and the nurses left the room.

“Okay I understand everything. I will never see again, right?” Taeyong finally breaks the silence with a very weak voice.

He tries hard to smile , “It's okay guys, I still have you by my side. At least I can't feel the pain right now. It hurts too much before. It feels like hell, John”

He then moves his arms trying to find John, but he couldn't find anything.

“Hey, where are you, Johnny? Please come closer, I can't find you,”

John is currently joining Jeno in the sofa, he just look down to the floor as his tears couldn't stop. Seeing his bestfriend in this condition really breaks him, and he couldn't even go beside Taeyong. His weak heart coudn't take it. Jeno pullls the older to his embrace.

**'Look at his miserable state, Doyoung-ah. Taeyong-hyung will be blind for the rest of his life, and it's already a heavy punishment for him. You're feeling terrible and sad right now, yeah? Dont hesitate! Come and take his hand. He really needs your support right now.'**

Doyoung takes a few steps forward, he has already made up his mind. Lee Taeyong has been punished, and it's the time for him to correct his mistakes. He's tired of hearing the voices and he wants to stop it.

“It's me, Hyung. I'm very sorry for being mean to you yesterday. I really don't want to hurt you with my words,” Doyoung takes Taeyong's hand as he sit down beside him, “I'm sorry...I can't believe it can turns out to be like this. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me, Hyung.”

“Me too, my joke is crossing the line, Doyoung-ah. Jaehyunnie's right, you don't really mean it,” Taeyong smiles, he squeezes Doyoung's hand below his fingers, “Anyway where's him? Is he also in this hospital?”

Doyoung responds automatically, “Yes, he's here,”

“It's great! You should also visit him in his room, and tell him that I miss him already,” Taeyong chuckles, “haha, such a pity that I couldn't walk to him! He must be very worried,”

Doyoung's eyes widen since he's not predicting the respond came from Taeyong. He then moves his gaze to Jeno, and talks with his eyes 'You-still-don't-tell-him-about it?' Jeno shakes his head worriedly, and then Doyoung meets with John's gaze. John nods weakly, since he's also very afraid to tell him about it.

Doyoung is very confuse. He's just as afraid as Jeno and John, but he also doesn't want to hide the truth. Taeyong deserves to know what exactly happens with Jaehyun. He has to know the reality.

“Hey, Doyoung-ah. Are you still there? You must quickly go to Jaehyun's room. He must be very lonely without you and Johnny,”

“I'm sorry, Hyung, but you must be strong after this,” Doyoung says firmly, he squeezes the older's hand, “Jaehyunnie is not survive from the fall. He already left us forever. It's very hard for us, but we must let him go. Jung Jaehyun is passed away four hours ago”

Taeyong falls into deep shocked as he's trembling heavily. He couldn't control his body again, his mind is completely messed up.

“No...Jung Jaehyun..it's not true..Jung Jaehyun..No..Jung Jaehyun..it's not true,,Jung Jaehyun,..No,” he keeps mumbling Jaehyun's name for five minutes straight before he screams his heart out.

Doyoung knows it will happen, he grabs Taeyong's trembling body and let the older's crying hard in his arm. He's trying so hard not to cry, as he already make that promise. He must be the strongest in order to survive.

“It's okay, Hyung. You may cry as much as you want. I'm here for you and I will protect you,”

It feels so wrong for Doyoung to hold Taeyong and calm him like this. In ordinary days, there will only be Jaehyun who could calm the older whenever he's getting attack.

Taeyong is still crying hard and talks between his sobs. He begins to rage as he tries to shove Doyoung's hand with all of his energy, “But Why? What makes him die?”

“I hugs him when we falls! He couldn't be death! Please don't let Jaehyun die! Please just let me die! Please just kill me! It's hurt, it's hurt so much,”

“It's because of Heart-attack! He's already death when he reach ground. You must accept that, Yong-ie! This is a fact! We must let him go!” John is coming to the scene, he's also losing his mind. He's crying hard as he hugs his best-friend from the other side.

_**'Yes, you should be death, Lee Taeyong. He's the one who kills Jaehyun, and now he's asking you to kill him, Doyoung-ah. Come on, let's do it carefully,'** _

Doyoung driven by the voice again, as he slowly close the valve of the oxygen's tube that connects to Taeyong's nose.

“It's hurt me..Jae...” Taeyong pauses as he couldn't breath. He opens his mouth, trying to grasps the tiny air as he couldn't see what's exactly happening. He only feels that his chest is hurt very much, it feels like burning inside his ribs, “It's hurt...help..”

Taeyong is dying since he couldn't breath. His face is turning blue as he closes his eyes.

 


	9. After The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO YEOROBEUN!! *insertLucasVoice I am really soorry for the very late update TT.TT The previous file of this story is corrupted inside my hard disk and I must re-write this chapter forwards! huhuu :((
> 
> Although the plot is still the same, I couldn't manage to re-write in the meantime because my work is getting crazy :(
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter, and thank you for your kudos and comments to this work, it reeeally means a lot to me! Keep support our NCT Boys and let's hope OT21 will happen soon!

“Hey, what's happen, Doyoung-hyung? He couldn't breath! His heartbeat is very fast!” Jeno quickly joins to the scene as he realize that something bad is happening. He press the emergency button repeatedly.

**'What are you doing, Doyoung-ah! You're killing him!'**

Doyoung quickly opens the valve as he feels Taeyong's grips is soften under his finger, as he lost his consciousness. Doyoung is confused about his action and he knows this is because of the voice, but it never gone this far before.

Doyoung's hand is trembling hard and he's very afraid right now.

“Please come back to us, Taeyong-hyung! Please don't leave!” Jeno is crying badly as the doctor and the nurses run to the room. They quickly take action as giving him an injection and oxygen-mask, not just oxygen-tube.

After a while, they finish the emergency action as Taeyong is on steady condition.

“What's happen? What's make him like that, doctor?”

“He's on a heavy shock, as he lost his ability to breath properly. May I know what's happen before, Mr Seo?”

“We're telling him about the other friend, and he starts to rage,”Johnny is answering with a worried face, “I'm so sorry, doctor, but he needs to know about him,”

The doctor talk sadly before he leaves, “Be careful, Mr.Seo. Mr Lee is very weak physically and mentally right now. I injected a highly sedative before, so he will not wake up until afternoon. Don't worry, he will be fine after that”

“I think it's not the right time to tell him about this. We could wait until his condition is stable,” Johnny moves his gaze to Doyoung and talks slowly. He looks devastated.

“So, You're blaming me for the terrible attack?” Doyoung snaps while looks back at Johnny, his eyes and ears are still red, and he's already screaming.

“No, Doyoung-ah,.I don't blame you, I'm just...”

“I can't just keep silence when he mention Jaehyun like that, Hyung! Imagine what will happen with him if we don't tell him the truth immediately! Imagine what will happen if Taeyong-hyung knows it by himself!”

No one could replies Doyoung for seconds, and the air is filled with tense. Johnny just walks away and turn his face to the wall, as he couldn't manage to look at the horrible scene inside the room. Meanwhile, Jeno is still on Taeyong's side and caressing his leader's weak arm, he's too afraid to talk.

“We must tell him the truth, so we could know what we must do with him to help him recover,” A voice breaks the silence, as Taeil enters the room, “I heard your argument outside,"

He stands beside Doyoung and immediately put him in a tight hug. Taeil then caress the younger's back, as Doyoung could hide his emotion in front of Taeil, the only man that he looks up as his own Hyung in the team..

“'I'm afraid, I'm very afraid right now. I'm just doing something terrible before, Hyung!” Doyoung whispers in Taeil's ears with a tremble voice, “Help me, Hyung. Please help me,”

“Shh...it's okay, Doyoung-ah. You're not doing a terrible thing, you just say the truth,”

**'No, you're not just telling the truth, Doyoung-ah! You're trying to kill him with your own hands! Just tell the truth to Taeil-hyung!'**

“It's not just like that, It's something that absolutely terrible,..”

“What's more terrible, Doyoung-ah? Just tell me, so I could help you,” Taeil looks straight at Doyoung's eyes with a sympathetic gaze.

_**'What? are you crazy, Doyoung-ah? Do you want to destroy your career with a stupid confession? You're smart enough to not doing that! Just keep silence and nobody knows about that!'** _

“I tell Taeyong-hyung the truth about Jaehyun, and he's getting a shock after that. He's sobbing very hard to the point that he couldn't breathe and his face turns blue... If something terrible happens to Taeyong-hyung, it's all because of my word!”

Doyoung is sobbing hard in Taeil's arms, as the older is soothing his back slowly.

_**'Yeah, that's what you should tell him, Doyoung-ah. Stop it here, and everything will turns out fine!'** _

“Shh..it's okay, it's alright..you're not doing the wrong things, Doyoung-ah, nothing bad will happen if we tell the truth to Taeyong, because he deserves to know, so we could help him overcome this disaster,”

Johnny and Jeno immediately run to Taeil and join the group hug. Taeil comforts them all, as they're slowly crying in his arms for a while before he releases the hug and pats each person's back.

“I'm sorry, Doyoung-ah for blaming you since I really couldn't lost another brother after Jaehyun,”

Johnny turn his gaze to Doyoung, rubs his face with his hands, he tries so hard for not crying again,

“I'm also sorry for yelling at you before, Hyung. I just can't control my emotion,..”

“I'm sorry, Jeno-yah, I failed to be strong as your Hyung, I couldn't comfort you before,”

Jeno nods his head, “It's really okay-Hyung. I'm really okay,”

“And I'm very sorry, Taeil-hyung, for not helping you to control the situation,” Johnny continues, he also look at Taeil's tired face,”You know, tonight is the hardest time of my life. I saw with my own eyes how they failed to bring Jaehyun back and I couldn't do anything at the time. It's very hard for me to stay strong.”

“I know how hard it is, Youngho-yah,it's really okay for me,” Taeil replies with a warm smile and looks to all of them when continues, “Don't ever blame ourselves for what happen today, since it's already planned by God and we couldn't do anything to stop it. I believe we will survive this bad tragedy if we stay strong together. Jaehyun is already rest in heaven, and he will be sad if he sees us crumble. Remember, he loves our team more than anything else in the world.”

“Let's pray for our future after this, Hyung. May God always guides us and give His blessing to us, ” Jeno leads them while clapping his hand, followed by Taeil and Johnny,

“Amen..”

Doyoung really wants to join them, but he couldn't, as he doesn't believe God will help them to survive. He believes that he must rely on himself in order to survive. And in order to survive, Doyoung must be the one who take the lead, since he doesn't believe anyone else could do it better than him. He has been worked hard for all those years, and he will take back what he deserves since beginning. From now, Doyoung has already made up his mind for being the leader, and no one can't stop him. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo everyone! This is my first time writing a proper NCT Fic, and I decide to make one for Doyoung my bias wrecker! And I'm sorry if I made Doyoung as an evil character! *attackbyDoyoungfans, This works is purely fiction. I really appreciate your comment and kudos! Please continue to support our NCT boys!


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